January 2012
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December 2011
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Anonymous asked: how did you and your boyfriend meet?
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today:
forcing jur to watch a jersey shore AND teen mom marathon
meet up with sammi
eat at pita jungle
take jur to his first arizona dive bar and see a show
pictures to follow.
also, tomorrow:
GRAND CANYON
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“People in war movies are fatter than me.”
– Jurgen
File this under reasons why Emily feels like a whale.
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today will go down in history
as the day i had to explain to jurgen what root beer is.
all i know is that it’s american, goddamnit.
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nervous nervous nervous.
he missed his flight so now i’m nervous for an extra 3 hours.
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i really thought i was going to die yesterday. probably worst christmas ever.
BUT TODAY, i feel 80% better and a certain someone is on a plane right now. off to clean and make everything perfect before he gets here!
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this christmas i got:
food poisoning
am i the only one who welcomed in christmas morning by being violently ill?
i guess the one good thing about having a cat is that he was able to sit next to me and purr while i was vomitting. it was super adorable, you guys.
i can’t wait for this year to be over :[[[[[[[
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i’ve decided that as a holiday cheer sort of thing, i’m going to post 10 blogs that i love that i normally don’t gush over. some of these people i talk to and some i don’t. either way they’re all rad and you should check out their blogs. also, because of that reason, i’m only going to post blog names and not first names since i don’t know some of them :|
...
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is it really christmas eve?
also, two days. my stomach is in knots.
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cat decides to hide under the couch.
go to grab cat and find a shoe i’ve been missing for SIX MONTHS.
it’s a fucking christmas miracle.
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Courtney: Do you have that mind kahng book?
Me: By Hitler?
Courtney: Hahaha no. Sorry. Mindy Kaling?
That awkward moment when you think your friend is talking about Mein Kampf rather than Mindy Kaling.
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i may be getting a cat.
which is strange for me because i’ve always, always been a dog person. i mean i still have patch and misty, but they live at my parents’ house, so i don’t really feel like they’re mine anymore.
anyways, my co-worker found this cat on the side of the road. his ears were infested with ear mites and he had a horrible cold (cats can get colds,...
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“Oh, love isn’t there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much...”
– Herman Hesse (via @johannal)
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things i do in the morning to avoid getting ready...
post on tumblr
debate whether or not my sheet thread count is really accurate
drink 5 cups of coffee
wrap presents
goggle where jonathon taylor thomas has been the last 10 fucking years
come across where devon sawa has been instead
apparently he’s been in jail
clean out my coffee machine
post on facebook
look this really cute yoshi plush toy i bought yesterday
remember that i also...
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update on why i'm the worst penpal ever:
so, as previously discussed, this month has been crazy. i’ve decided that since i’ve waited too long to send out my christmas cards and presents, i will be doing them in january. please forgive me!
ps. i’m the worst.
pps. the actual worst.
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over the course of my lifetime, and sorted dating history, i’ve had quite a few men text me that should never be allowed near a cell phone. here is a list i’ve compiled of what i consider to be the texting don’ts if you ever plan on seeing a vagina.
1. don’t try to be overly cute or overly sexual in a simple text message.
example: i once had a guy who instead of writing...
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60% of the time, it works every time.
anchorman is always the answer.
things that happened last night
i karaoked to will smith
i karaoked to backstreet boys
co-workers took video of the above things and will probably use them as blackmail later
drank more alcohol than anyone ever should
spent the rest of the night next to a very lovely toilet
cuddled with my best friend after she pulled me away from the lovely toilet
note to self: don’t drink and karaoke.
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Co-worker: Who are you bringing as your date for the party?
Me: My invisible husband. He’s really charming, I think you two will hit it off.
Co-worker: Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist?
