March 2012
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things that i find funny:
nurse: so, after your surgery you’re not allowed to drive, operate heavy machinery, sign a will…
me: i won’t be signing my will today.
nurse: okay, good. also, we’ve added that you shouldn’t go on any social networking sites like facebook, twitter and whatever else there is. we don’t want you posting something you might regret.
me: i post things i regret...
February 2012
Anonymous asked: Hope everything turns out okay.
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today is the day i have to go to the hospital.
today is the day i hope they find some answers.
today is the day, hopefully.
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my cat has the hiccups. oh god, it might be the cutest thing ever.
it almost makes up for the whole shitting on my bath mat incident. nevermind, it totally doesn’t.
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“But what are we going to do without you? Youre the only person here that knows...”
– Response from my co-workers after informing them of my resignation
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here i am, writing my resignation letter on a sunday afternoon.
i feel strange. i feel guilty. i feel scared.
in a way, i feel like i’m letting my boss down. i have to quit during undesirable circumstances. i guess there really never is the “right” time to quit, just like there’s never the “right” time to break up with someone.
i just hate feeling like...
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one of the many moments when i was a bitch this...
random dude at bar: i’m not from here.
me: oh, where are you from?
random dude: new york.
me: let me guess…brooklyn?
random dude: yes.
me: and you have a tumblr?
random dude: i have two.
me: and you probably do bon iver covers, right? just on one of them. the other one is strictly for fashion and photography.
random dude: fuck you.
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things i'm looking forward to:
eating vegetables again after this week
my new job (eek!)
going to disneyland
having my oldest best friend come to visit me
starting a new work out schedule (actually trying this whole “weight lifting” thing)
improving myself
improving my life
A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of... →
kateoplis:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Read on.
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WHO GOT A NEW JOB?
THIS GIRL DID.
I JUST GOT A ONE-WAY TICKET OUT OF CRAZY TOWN, USA.
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my cat really hates me
i haven’t been at home much lately and my cat has definitely made me pay for it.
i bought him a new litter box yesterday to try and make him happy, but i guess that wasn’t enough.
when i came home from work today, i noticed that he had dragged my bath mat into his litter box and shit on it.
nothing says fuck you quite like shitting on a bath mat. well played, cat.
I just realized that I have no more birthdays to look forward to.
Its literally all down here from here.
Anyways, Im old. Im gonna go kill myself now. Kbye.
My boss just told me she didnt know how to spell button.
This is the reason why Im on the verge of a britney spears size meltdown. Head shaving would be included.
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“A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.”
– George Meredith (via amandaonwriting)
On top of the fact that i have to leave Michelle...
I also saw two people I went to school with announce their engagements and pregnancies on facebook.
Worst. Day. Ever.
Homeless people really hate me.
Michelle said its because im whiter than the average person :/
Things ive seen at the airport so far:
- A girl planking on the moving walkway
- A fifty year old woman wearing low rise jeans that show off her thong
Lord, help me.
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GUESS WHAT?
I’M GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO TOMORROW TO SEE THIS BABE. WE’RE GOING TO DRINK BEERS IN BED AND CUDDLE ALL NIGHT.
ALL CAPS, ALL DAY.