i kind of want to go up to my boss and be like, “listen, if this week has taught me anything, it’s that the only thing i’m truly good at is napping. consider this my resignation because i have some serious napping to do.”
I wish i could say that this was the end of the “stomach cancer?” chapter in the book of emily, but i just got a phone call that said its not. While the pathology results came back negative for cancer, they did come back abnormal for everything else. The doctor isnt sure what caused the results, but is hoping that the removal of my appendix has fixed whatever the problem was.
To be honest, its a lot slower and more painful than i expected. I thought that making it through the surgery would be the hardest part, but boy was I wrong. Luckily, i have the best support system in the world, a very understanding new boss, a couple of adorable pets and an unlimited supply of horrible reality tv to help me along the way.
What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.
i just had my best friend pray for me over the phone.
it wasn’t something that i ever thought i’d ask for, let alone feel like i need.
but today was different.
i found out that all of my ~health issues~ are coming to a head on monday. i’m going to get my appendix removed, and there’s a (small) possibility that there could be a cancerous tumor growing on it. i’m going to stay positive, however, and continue to believe that there is no cancer in my body.
what i’m most scared of is staying overnight in the hospital. how am i going to lay there by myself with just my thoughts? what if they find a tumor and i just have to be there and lay with that? what if.
i don’t know what will happen, but i hope that this will be the end of everything. they will remove my appendix, they won’t find any cancer and i will feel better. that is what i choose to believe will happen. i have to, i just really have to.
“There’s a loneliness that only exists in one’s mind. The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”—F. Scott Fitzgerald The Great Gatsby (via dancesunderthestars)
What ever happened to the boy you were just recently dating? The Foreign one.
Long distance romances are hard, especially when there’s an ocean between you. Sometimes things just dont work out the way you thought they would. I wish him nothing but the best, however, and I hope he finds happiness.